I was recently contacted by mYselF to produce a commercial for Cloroxix Liquid Gels manufactured by MagaLago Pharma. I was very hesitant to take the gig to do promotional work for such a controversial Coronavirus treatment but I was offered over $2.9mil, 50% royalties, a staff of 20 people (for my whole life!!!), and a large estate in an undisclosed location in northern Canada. Naturally I signed right up! Now with over nine views my bank account has increased in value by nearly six dollars. Times are good.

Life is tough right now. Stay inside. Wear a mask when you go out. Don't be a mask-less dick.

Text description from the Cloroxix marketing team

Don't take Cloroxix. Just don't. You don't even need to ask a qualified physician before ingesting any hazardous substance or poison. Do not eat/drink/consume anything that can be responsibly, or irresponsibly, used to clean anything you eat, drink, or breathe from.

The point is this: don’t rely on the internet, me, the president, or anyone else to tell you that doing dumb things is good. Your family/friends love you - even if you don’t agree on “Russia” or “her emails," - you are loved.